It's true. It's all she seems to watch anymore. And because the computer is in the living room, I'm stuck listening to it.
Currently, the movie, "I, Me, Wed" is on. It's about a woman who decides to have a wedding and "Marry" herself. She's sick of all the pressure from her mother and girlfriends to get married and have a wedding, so she decides to just marry herself. How witty and clever.
Of course, in the process she meets a man and begins to fall in love....crap crap crap.
Anyhow.
Went to a Demo Derby in Joliet last night. It was SO much fun. Can't wait for schoolbus races at Illiana Speedway July 26th. SWEET!
But yeah, it was great. Not only were the races fun, but oh my God...watching all the rednecks. HILARIOUS! They were just...words cannot express...I'm shaking my head at this moment. Haha.
Anyhow. Other than that it's just been a weekend off. Went out on Friday for my girl Jenn's 21birthday. That was fun. Later that night I went to Shawn's.
I think things are going well. I like the fact that he's no bullshit and will call you out on shit. We haven't had a serious "talk" yet. Melissa things I'm waffling...but you have to understand...he's an ironworker. And in summer, that's not the best job. He has to wear long sleeve shirts and jeans to protect from the sparks. He deals with intense temperatures for anywhere from 8-14 hours (yes, 14 hours). You should see what he looks like after work. I've gone over when he's just gotten off work, showered and just passed out on the couch.
Yes, we haven't officially gone on a date...as in "out in public." But between our work schedules and working weekends....
We'll see what happens. I really don't feel this is just a booty call...but still being cautious.
Anyhow...anyhow.
I'm gonna go eat some rice now. Enjoy the rest of your weekend people!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Father's Day...
So today is Father's Day. And, as usually is the case, it is also the 13 year anniversary of my father's passing. And still, not a day goes by that I don't think of him.
I wonder what kind of person I would be if he were still alive. What would I have done differently in my life? What kind of relationship would we have? Would he still be the "hero" that I picture him as?
I'm upset that I was robbed of the opportunity to know my father as an adult, know him for the man he was. I mean, I've heard good and bad stories about him. Don't get me wrong. I know he wasn't a saint. But I was only 15 when he passed. We didn't get to the point where I hated him with that wonderful teenage angst. In some ways, my view of him is jaded, know what I mean?
I just wonder if he would be proud of who I've become, how I've turned out in life. I really wonder about that. I mean, I'm sure he's proud of me. And I'm sure he loves me no matter what.
I just sometimes rethink of when he was sick. And I know that what I went thru is difficult to process at any age, let alone 15. But I just wish I had done things differently. Spent more time with him or something. I will never forget the day that he came home from the hospital. I walk in the house to see my father lying on a hospital bed in the living room. He looked at me and reached out for me. I went over to him and he takes a pad of paper. He writes, "Daddy must be scary, huh?" And I shook my head no. It wasn't scary. It just wasn't my father lying there on that bed. The man who always held me during scary movies, the man I wrestled with, the man who braided my hair (yep, my dad could braid) and cut my bangs in that straight line across my forehead. (You can thank him for that look) haha. That wasn't my dad lying there on that bed, nothing but skin and bones, so frail, so delicate. My father should be out washing the car on the front lawn, not dying on some damn bed.
I still get angry. I wonder why he was taken from me and my family so soon. What plans could God have had for him that he needed to be stripped from us?
I'm angry. Angry he wasn't able to be there at my high school gradutation, angry he won't be there to walk me down the aisle on my big day, be there when I give birth to his first grandchild. My children will grow up knowing their grandfather as I knew mine, thru stories and pictures, never getting to know the wonderful man he was. I wonder what kind of grandfather he would have been.
I have so many unasnwered questions that run thru my head. I wonder if I ever will have the answers. I think that's a small reason why I still have a faith. I hope one day to see my father again. To hug him, smell him, hear his voice.
You'd think it'd be easy by now...but it still gets me. Oh sure, each year gets a little easier. I'm sure there are years I didn't cry. Sigh.
Anyhow. Happy Father's Day to all those dad's out there.
I wonder what kind of person I would be if he were still alive. What would I have done differently in my life? What kind of relationship would we have? Would he still be the "hero" that I picture him as?
I'm upset that I was robbed of the opportunity to know my father as an adult, know him for the man he was. I mean, I've heard good and bad stories about him. Don't get me wrong. I know he wasn't a saint. But I was only 15 when he passed. We didn't get to the point where I hated him with that wonderful teenage angst. In some ways, my view of him is jaded, know what I mean?
I just wonder if he would be proud of who I've become, how I've turned out in life. I really wonder about that. I mean, I'm sure he's proud of me. And I'm sure he loves me no matter what.
I just sometimes rethink of when he was sick. And I know that what I went thru is difficult to process at any age, let alone 15. But I just wish I had done things differently. Spent more time with him or something. I will never forget the day that he came home from the hospital. I walk in the house to see my father lying on a hospital bed in the living room. He looked at me and reached out for me. I went over to him and he takes a pad of paper. He writes, "Daddy must be scary, huh?" And I shook my head no. It wasn't scary. It just wasn't my father lying there on that bed. The man who always held me during scary movies, the man I wrestled with, the man who braided my hair (yep, my dad could braid) and cut my bangs in that straight line across my forehead. (You can thank him for that look) haha. That wasn't my dad lying there on that bed, nothing but skin and bones, so frail, so delicate. My father should be out washing the car on the front lawn, not dying on some damn bed.
I still get angry. I wonder why he was taken from me and my family so soon. What plans could God have had for him that he needed to be stripped from us?
I'm angry. Angry he wasn't able to be there at my high school gradutation, angry he won't be there to walk me down the aisle on my big day, be there when I give birth to his first grandchild. My children will grow up knowing their grandfather as I knew mine, thru stories and pictures, never getting to know the wonderful man he was. I wonder what kind of grandfather he would have been.
I have so many unasnwered questions that run thru my head. I wonder if I ever will have the answers. I think that's a small reason why I still have a faith. I hope one day to see my father again. To hug him, smell him, hear his voice.
You'd think it'd be easy by now...but it still gets me. Oh sure, each year gets a little easier. I'm sure there are years I didn't cry. Sigh.
Anyhow. Happy Father's Day to all those dad's out there.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Yawn...sorry I haven't posted in awhile....
Nothing really too thrilling has come up as of late...and I didn't really have anything to blurb about. So instead of wasting words, I just didn't post.
So we got back from Vegas this morning...after our flight being delayed about an hour and a half. Then, apparently due to the weather we were circling the airport waiting for clearance to land. Which we did. Altho I heard from other people their flights were HORRIBLE. Casey and Andrea's flight was just like something from a movie. Apparently they were whipped around and all this other stuff, women and children screaming...no good. They had to make an emergency landing in St. Louis and Andrea refused to get back on a plane again, so they rented a car and were driving home. Our flight was not that bad in the least, really. The Captain was a little slow on take off, and seemed really low on landing....but it was alright. Just happy to get home. Altho, I'm technically not home. I'm in the Nook, listening to John snore. Haha. We didn't get here until almost 4am. It was a long day. But back in Chicago.
I heard about the weather while we were gone. Scary shit. It's especially hard when you're away and can't do anything about it! I received a phone call from a friend right after getting a text about the tornado heading for Hammond. I immediately called my mom. Here's the conversation:
Mother: Hello. (Caller ID, she knew it was me)
Me: (trying not to sound panicked) Yeah....
Mother: What?
Me: What's going on? Where are you? How's the weather?
Mother: Just watching a movie. We're fine.
Me: A movie? You know there's a tornado warning, because there's one on the way to Hammond RIGHT NOW!
Mother: (Totally calm) Yeah, it's been going on all day. It's all quiet here. We're fine.
Me: (a little apprehensive)Ok...but just listen for sirens or whatever and be careful!
Mother: I will. Love you, goodbye.
So then I find out the tornado hit a Cracker Barrel right next to where my cousin works. Thankfully, my cousin wasn't working and alright.
It's just so hard to not be here when shit goes down. Thankfully, as far as I've heard, no one in my immediate circle was injured or lost anything...be thankful for small blessing.
Anyhow. What else?
Where, there's a new guy. It's only about 2 weeks now, so we'll see what happens...but he's nice. He's 31, an iron worker, has his own place, and is looking for a relationship, not just random hook ups. We've been talking everyday, thru both phone calls and texts. We still have yet to go out on like, a real date...so I'm still guarded. But he seems like a decent guy with a good head on his shoulders...so PLEASE keep fingers crossed. They say it hits when you least expect it, and I was TOTALLY not expecting this! I had been dating his friend for awhile, actually, when the new guy and I hooked up. Hey, you snooze, you lose. And it didn't appear to be going anywhere with the friend anyhow.
Sigh. It's nice. He's nice. Let's just hope. I'm just trying to enjoy it while still keeping my guard up, at least until I get some kind of sign from him or something, know what I mean?
Anyhow. Just keep your fingers crossed.
So I'm gonna jump in the shower now. The troops at John's are rousing. We girls are gonna go get pedicures. I REALLY need one. I decided a weekend in Vegas in flip flops would be a good thing. My feet tell me otherwise. WOOF! Haha.
I'll get pix up on MySpace soon. Talk to you guys later!
So we got back from Vegas this morning...after our flight being delayed about an hour and a half. Then, apparently due to the weather we were circling the airport waiting for clearance to land. Which we did. Altho I heard from other people their flights were HORRIBLE. Casey and Andrea's flight was just like something from a movie. Apparently they were whipped around and all this other stuff, women and children screaming...no good. They had to make an emergency landing in St. Louis and Andrea refused to get back on a plane again, so they rented a car and were driving home. Our flight was not that bad in the least, really. The Captain was a little slow on take off, and seemed really low on landing....but it was alright. Just happy to get home. Altho, I'm technically not home. I'm in the Nook, listening to John snore. Haha. We didn't get here until almost 4am. It was a long day. But back in Chicago.
I heard about the weather while we were gone. Scary shit. It's especially hard when you're away and can't do anything about it! I received a phone call from a friend right after getting a text about the tornado heading for Hammond. I immediately called my mom. Here's the conversation:
Mother: Hello. (Caller ID, she knew it was me)
Me: (trying not to sound panicked) Yeah....
Mother: What?
Me: What's going on? Where are you? How's the weather?
Mother: Just watching a movie. We're fine.
Me: A movie? You know there's a tornado warning, because there's one on the way to Hammond RIGHT NOW!
Mother: (Totally calm) Yeah, it's been going on all day. It's all quiet here. We're fine.
Me: (a little apprehensive)Ok...but just listen for sirens or whatever and be careful!
Mother: I will. Love you, goodbye.
So then I find out the tornado hit a Cracker Barrel right next to where my cousin works. Thankfully, my cousin wasn't working and alright.
It's just so hard to not be here when shit goes down. Thankfully, as far as I've heard, no one in my immediate circle was injured or lost anything...be thankful for small blessing.
Anyhow. What else?
Where, there's a new guy. It's only about 2 weeks now, so we'll see what happens...but he's nice. He's 31, an iron worker, has his own place, and is looking for a relationship, not just random hook ups. We've been talking everyday, thru both phone calls and texts. We still have yet to go out on like, a real date...so I'm still guarded. But he seems like a decent guy with a good head on his shoulders...so PLEASE keep fingers crossed. They say it hits when you least expect it, and I was TOTALLY not expecting this! I had been dating his friend for awhile, actually, when the new guy and I hooked up. Hey, you snooze, you lose. And it didn't appear to be going anywhere with the friend anyhow.
Sigh. It's nice. He's nice. Let's just hope. I'm just trying to enjoy it while still keeping my guard up, at least until I get some kind of sign from him or something, know what I mean?
Anyhow. Just keep your fingers crossed.
So I'm gonna jump in the shower now. The troops at John's are rousing. We girls are gonna go get pedicures. I REALLY need one. I decided a weekend in Vegas in flip flops would be a good thing. My feet tell me otherwise. WOOF! Haha.
I'll get pix up on MySpace soon. Talk to you guys later!
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