School....YARGH!

Really, really...this is just getting FRUSTRATING! I'm serious!

So...I'm trying to get everything together for school. It starts in less than a month. I was denied Financial Aid and I do plan on appealing that decision.

I filled out an application for a loan from JJC. I was told at the time that I had to fill out this loan counseling thing online. I fill it out, print out the page like I'm supposed to and call JJC to find out if I can fax it in. I'm told at that time that I don't need to submit it. They have the record online and are trying to decrease the amount of paper in the office. Cool. Well, they can get my record then. I'm done. :D

I go to Prairie State to fill out for the Chargeback. That basically allows me to pay in district rates even tho I don't live in district. I bring my acceptance letter and my class schedule with me. I think I just pick up the paper, badda bing, badda bang, badda boom right? Wrong.

I have to sit and wait for a counselor. Why? "We need to be sure you have all the necessary pre-reqs accomplished." Um, I have my class schedule, which starts August 25. I think I have all my classes. But I sit and wait. I get called, walk with the counselor to her office, tell her why I'm here only to get back up and head back to the front. Where she grabs a piece of paper. I again get the schpeel about pre-reqs to which I AGAIN explain and show my class schedule. They fill out the paperwork and tell me it will take approximately 2 weeks. Fine. That was Tuesday the 15th.

On Wednesday the 23rd, I get a voicemail. It's Prairie State, about the chargeback. I've only taken one math according to the records and may need other pre-reqs. Wednesday was a shitty day at work, and this just pushed me over the edge. I leave a message, and MAY have had a little attitude. But I'm just getting frustrated. I explain, ONCE AGAIN, in the voicemail that I AM ENROLLED AT JJC!!!! CLASSES START AUGUST 25TH!!! If I NEEDED additional classes, JJC would have TOLD me, don'tcha think? I explain this in the message, and end it asking if we could please expedite this process as I am getting frustrated.
Thursday morning, I call the office. The woman tells me, not too happily, that she got my message and sent my letter out. I sweetly thank her and hang up.

Saturday the 26th, I pick Loren up to head to the city. I also pick up my mail, in which is a letter from JJC. I open it, and it's from the Financial Aid dept. They have not received my Loan Counseling Completion and cannot continue to process my application without it.

Now, NOW I'm just getting REALLY pissed off! I wish I could work in one of these departments at these schools. Apparently all you need is to stuff your head up your ass and have a lack of communication. I could TOTALLY do that. And of course, it's Saturday. I can't do shit about it. So I call the office today and of course, have to leave a message because these people NEVER are available (altho I wonder what the fuck they're doing because no one knows what the other is up to and I question if they work?). I explain what I was told and tell the machine or whatever that I'm just getting very frustrated by mixed signals. Waiting, of course, for a response.

It's just aggravating. Really. I didn't think it was going to be this fucking difficult to get into school. Come on!

So we'll see what happens next. I have the paper somewhere. I know I saved it...JUST IN CASE OF A SITUATION LIKE THIS....but where it is...good question.

Anyhow. I gotta jump in the tub. Let's see how this works out. God, I hope this just resolves itself soon. Sigh.

I'm gonna try it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2QyEWv4WDo

This is the link to a faboo YouTube tutorial on how to create Victory Rolls in under 5 minutes (once you've been doing them forever. For me...it would be like, 45 minutes...if not more!).

I've wanted to rock this hairstyle for SO LONG....sigh. So I'm gonna get the stuff and try it. Why not? It doesn't involve cutting my hair or making drastic changes. Let's see what I can do.

Ooh, and if you watch it, make sure to watch the end. She shows you how to get those "Bettie Page" bangs without making a commitment to bangs.

I think I know what I'm gonna be for Halloween!

Side note: I've thought about my next tattoo. I decided it WILL be the pinup girl going along the left side of my body. My, um, torso. That's it. Now the tricky part...what pix? What girl? Black and white? Color? Here's one I was thinking of...



I was thinking this would look good along the side. She would match me, so if I'm laying down she's laying down as well. I can't think of the word right now...it's almost 2am-what do you expect? :D

Here's my other thought...and I'm kinda digging this one:



Now not THIS girl exactly, but maybe a similar idea. I was even thinking a girl walking a dog...and then I could incorporate my little dog, Teddy. Not only that, but it would also deal with the fact that I'm a total animal lover...

But I kinda want a "classic" pinup girl...is there really a "classic" pose? Meh...I've got time to figure it out. Plus, if I get a good artist they should be able to help me construct what I'm looking for.

Just some ideas. Feedback is appreciated.

ANYHOW...I'm dragging my ass to bed. Goodnight, and fare thee well!

I'm better now...I guess.

I'm just stressed. I'm trying to figure out so many different things. I've been busting my ass at work to make money. Like I said, I was denied financial aid, and yes, I'm going to appeal the decision. But until then I still need to figure out how I'm going to pay for my classes, so I'm trying to make sure I'll have money. I still won't have all the money if the cost is close to what the one girl said at the open house or whatever. I'll have about $800 bucks. I did apply for a loan, and am just waiting to hear the decision on that. That's what I did on Friday.

So that's been on my mind. I'm excited to be going back to school. And for the purpose of obtaining a degree. FINALLY! Haha. But I don't really regret waiting. The only thing on my mind now is whether or not I want to get the bachelor's degree. The thing is, if I want to do the 2/2 thing and go straight for the bachelor's after my associates, the closest school is Purdue Lafayette. Otherwise, instead of having a bachelor's and associates in four years, I'd have to go for another 4 years to a different school. I'm not making sense, am I? Well, I have a little time to figure out what i'm going to do with myself...and really, still need all the time I can get for that. Haha.

So in the "love" or lack thereof department...I'm just gonna give up. And I know I've said it before. But I'm just tired. I'm done. I don't know why love is so elusive to me...all I can hope is that one day it'll be like everyone tells me. It'll just hit me when I least expect it and sweep me off my feet. I just hope he's worth the wait, cuz it's been one helluva wait. Sigh. And I hope I don't miss him, know what I mean?

But with Steel Rod...I don't know what happened there. I know he's been working alot..but just...working or not. If you're into someone, you'll make an effort. And just, he was making a half assed effort I felt. I don't know. I mean, I know his job is draining. I think I just fell into old habits. Not necessarily

Haha...funny. I always call it. I told Kim earlier, as soon as I'm about to write someone off...they have this MAGIC way of popping back up. I'm shaking my head right now.

Anyhow. I'm gonna go listen to some Rufus Wainwright and reflect. But wanted to post a new blog stating that I'm ok. Just needed to blow off some steam. :D

But thanks guys...nice knowing you worry about me. Haha.

Until next time...

I gotta get out...

Between the family, the dating, the job...I just wanna run away and pull the earth over me.

I can't take the HOWLING, the SCREAMING! I KNOW she's only a child. But I just...I can't relax when she's home. I just...I can't sleep, I can't nap, I can't live MY life. When the FUCK are they moving out?

I'm tired of being the ass in the social circle. Sometimes, well, a LOT of the times, it's just tired. Been done. Haha...let's pick on Paula. You know what, let's not? Sure, I make bad decisions in my life...sure, you may believe I'm fucking the entire states of illinois and indiana...

You know what, I just don't even want to talk about it. I'm just tired.

Tired of my job. Tired of picking shitty men. Tired of being judged. Tired of it ALL. I just want to run away.

Oh yeah, I disabled comments for this post. I'm just ranting. I don't need encouraging words, even tho I thank you for the thought. I just need to get these thoughts out of my head.

The Insanity Is At An End...

With work at least...and for four days. The rest of the insanity in my life...oh yeah, that's still going on.

I'm trying not to over-analyze. I'm trying not to commit relationship suicide....sigh.

As I told Lo...I'm just an Instant Gratification Girl. Sigh.

Anyhow. Have the next four days off. Tomorrow I'm heading to Joliet for the time trials. Hope I can figure out a way to get to the pits and meet my future husband...only to overanalyze our entire conversation and everything there after. Haha.

Sigh...time to just be lazy.

Oh yeah, the new thing with Steel Rod...texting and then not replying once I respond. Sigh...I just give.

Weekend Recap...

Well, working on day 6 of 9 straight. Sigh...

Anyhow. Thursday night I went to Beecher to the Beer Garden. It was fun. Got into some shit, with a guy, but nothing big. And to ashamed to tell the story here. Just know that it was a learning experience, and boy did I learn.

Friday I had to work. Sigh. But hey, 3.5 hours of time and a half. Since I got denied Financial Aid and looks like I'll be getting either a loan or paying for the classes myself, I need all the money I can get. (And I'm doing REALLY well with finances...I'll blurb later).

Friday after work I went to Steel Rod's (as Fresh calls him). That's the new guy. Things were going well. He asked me if I was working this weekend. He and some friends were going to St. Louis on Saturday for the Cubs game. Sadly, I had to work. But, that was like, an invitation right? I mean, he asked if I had to work and went right into the Cubs thing...and was like, "Shitty" when I said I had to work.

Now, here's where things get sticky. So people were going to be staying over at his place in preparation for Saturday. There were supposed to be 8 people going. Well, the only one that ended up coming over was this girl. She's friends with his guy friend's wife (make sense?). Anyhow...apparently she had stayed there a few weekends ago after the guy friend's wedding. And was going to be staying again that night. When I left him as of 10pm Friday night, it looked like she was the only one.

Now...he told me about her. Told me she stayed the night. I was there when she came over. It wasn't ackward and there didn't seem to be anything going on (you know how sometimes you can tell...). Anyhow.

I had to go home due to working at 7am on Saturday and he and said girl were meeting up with the friends. He kissed me goodbye in front of her and told me he'd tell me about the game.

And that's the last I've heard from him.

Should I be concerned? Am I just thinking too damn much? Or am I justified? I mean, yes, we're not in a relationship. But he has said that he's not shy about us...

Sigh. I hate dating. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I just wish I could pull my head out of my ass long enough to figure out a situation. And my gut isn't helping me out on this one either.

I just need to start practicing patience. I need to just breathe. As a book Fresh gave me says, I need to W.A.I.T.-"What am I thinking?" Well, maybe not. Because my problem is my thinking. Le Sigh.

Anyhow. Input would be greatly appreciated.

So, Saturday was a day at work....from hell. One of the coworkers called off...on our VOICEMAIL and didn't even attempt to find a replacement. NOT cool. We were short handed and the weekend of/after/around a holiday is INSANE! After work, I just went home to bed. No sense in going out when I had to work today, even tho I got to be the "late" one.

Today....sigh. I did NOT want to wake up. My body was crying for more sleep. I get up, get to work...first thing we get....a C-Section. Collie with 7 pups. There's 3 techs. Two of us are in with these puppies. My boss keeps pulling them out and handing them off. He's telling us to hurry. Now, usually, for a C-Section there are more techs and a doctor or 2 available. Oh no. Not on Sunday. Because as WE'RE in the C-Section, the other 2 doctors are seeing the patients that have started coming in. There's ONE tech in the treatment area and she's getting swamped. And not to toot my horn, but I was the most experienced staff member. The other tech tries to go in to see what she can do in treatment, and I'm left in surgery tying off 7 puppy umbilical cords as they're squirming around. Not only that, covered in afterbirth and placenta and goo...it was NOT an easy task. MEANWHILE, my boss is yelling at me to hurry up to get into treatment cuz they're getting their ASS kicked. It was fucking NUTS! On top of that, I wanted to get to the beach. That's the MAIN reason the day was crazy. I made plans for after work. Anytime someone makes plans, work is fucked. It was just back to back cases. And nothing was easy. Bloodwork to run, and one of our machines is acting up...xrays to take. We had to take xrays on a GREAT DANE. You can't see me right now, but I'm shaking my head. It was ridiculous!

All the while I'm keeping one eye on the clock. I send one tech into surgery so she can start cleaning. I'm in treatment trying to keep things going...and noon is FAST approaching.

I didn't leave til 12:45p. Sigh. And you know what, my boss didn't tell me "Great Job" today. I worked my ASS off...and being with the staff I had. Sigh.

But I did make it to the beach. Finally! Got a little color on my back/shoulders. Need to work on more color, but we'll have more lazy Sunday's on the water.

After dinner at Quaker Steak and Lube I just lounged at home and watched a movie.

Back to work tomorrow. My day off is not until Thursday...but that's the day I hope to meet Dale Earnhardt Jr. Scratch that, Thursday IS the day I MEET Dale. :D

At least I have something to look forward too. (And like I keep telling y'all...you NEVER KNOW! As much as I SAY I'll marry Dale Jr....what if? Haha)

Hey...a girl can dream. Especially when her dreams are SO much better than real life!