So I had to create this blog space because I need a place to vent about the goings on in my house. Some of my family members have MySpace pages, so thus I couldn't really vent there.
I don't care if I come across as whiny, but really, shouldn't I be able to sleep in my own house? To have ONE NIGHT of uninterrupted sleep? It's bad enough that I don't sleep thru the night on my own, but now I am awakened by the SCREAMS of the child.
Look, I don't have kids. I have made that decision and done what I can to stick by it. I like the fact that if I want to sleep in, I CAN! But lately, I haven't been able to do that. For almost a WEEK now, the child has woken me up. Be it 3am, 5am, 8am, or a continuous cry from 5am on. I CAN'T TAKE IT! It's especially difficult when I have to work the am shift. I have a hard enough time as it is going to sleep at a decent hour.
I just, I'm at a breaking point. I was up until 3am last night because every time I tried to sleep, the child started crying. Then, my cousin started vomiting. Then my uncle started coughing/gagging.
I really, really need my own place. Unfortunately, I have screwed myself and my credit. So I have no one to blame for my current situation than myself.
My cousin and the baby living here was only supposed to be a temporary situation. She was unable to afford living on her own when the father of her child was detained for a few months. She was supposed to live with us, get her feet back under her, and then go. Especially when the father was released.
Well, baby daddy is out. But now she doesn't know if she wants to be with him anymore. She's supposed to be looking for an apartment. Before my birthday, my mother told me that she should be moving out in about a month. It's been about a month.
Am I wrong? I mean, you guys don't understand. This child has no set structure. She's been up at midnight before. There is no predetermined bed time. The child will start crying, and sometimes it feels like at least 15 minutes before my cousin responds to her. Meanwhile, I'M the one lying there awake.
Every night that I have been home, EVERY NIGHT, I have been woken up by this kid. I might as well just have a child of my own then.
I try to stay away as much as possible. That was the one nice thing about having booty calls. At least I had somewhere to sleep for the night! Haha....
And she doesn't just cry. Oh no. It's like a HOWL! She's screamed, sobbed, gulped...my breaking point has been broken.
I've thought about moving out with a roomate. But who? Most of my friends are in relationships if not already married and living with their significant other. And who's left? And, no offense, but do I trust living with them? Will they pay their bills on time? Will they back out on me and leave me with a rent I can't afford? I have enough trouble with managing my money already.
I just know that by August, at LEAST, something has got to change. I'm not going to put myself into debt if I can't get the quality education I deserve, know what I mean?
Sigh. I'm just gonna have to figure something out. I'm sure I will. I always do. I just know that as I was lying there in bed at 3am listening to the child screaming, that was it. Breaking point has now been broken.
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4 comments:
Ugh. I would be feeling the same way you do right now. I have no advice, since it's up to your mom to kick them out, but all I can say is - have you tried earplugs? Rob's snoring wakes me up (and keeps me up) and luckily earplugs help. Good luck.
I'll have to try it. Not sure if I could sleep with them in. I'm always worried about using methods to help me sleep, such as ear plugs or taking like, benadryl to sleep.
My thing is, I shouldn't have to in my own house, ya know?
And yeah, part of me feels bad about telling my mom to kick her out. But damnit, this temporary situation is becoming a permanent pain in the ass!
well, it's not really YOUR house, right? heh. so, what's going on with school? when does that start? if you become a full-time student for a while, then you COULD take out private student loans to cover rent for a bit--that's what i had to do. granted, it sucks to have to pay back the loans, but, technically, they are the best kind of loans to have. but then you can concentrate on your classes, and when you're done, you'll be ready to get a vet tech job, right? so, then you'll have the steady paycheck for loan payments and rent. i'm not gonna lie and say it's easy, but i think that's what most people do when their parents can't afford to put them through school, etc. it does mean eating a lot of ramen noodles, and not spending money at bars, but i'm sure you could get the occasional free meal from a hot date, right? haha.
and, try to remember that babies are just babies. they are vulnerable, and needy, and can only learn from the examples that are set for them. i know it's not a great situation, but maybe if you love the baby more, the crying will bother you less? your mom is doing a good thing letting them stay with you; especially when they test your patience.
what's this "I shouldn't have to do it in my own house?" so you'd kick your snoring husband out of the house?
earplugs aren't bad at all. I get the soft squishy kind, they're pretty comfy.
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